Rolls Royce Loan
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?"
The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?"
Funny Yet True Fortune Cookie Blunders
Confucius say you have heart as big as Texas.
You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment.
You will gain admiration from your pears.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom.
A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizard.
You love Chinese food.
Someone will invite you to a Karaoke party.
Don't behave with cold manners.
Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.
Don't forget you are always on our minds.
What you left behind is more mellow than wine.
There is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.
A tub and a rub will change your day.
THAT WASN'T CHICKEN.
Suppose you can get what you want.
If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it, eat a monkey.
It's about time I got out of that cookie.
The greatest danger could be your stupidity.
Eat your vegetable and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.
To lower your stress level, get a cat.
Your present plants are going to succeed.
A nice cake is waiting for you.
You may love the small ones but win the big ones.
An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.
Life is not a struggle. It's a wiggle.
Sssorrryyy, duuplleexxx swwwitccch ooonnn…
A smile is your personal welcome mat.
You are not illiterate.
The rubber bands are heading in the right direction.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
You never know who you touch.
Do not follow the instructions of this fortune.
Your emotional nature is strong and emotional.
Your eyes will soon be sparking, keep them open.
Now is the time to make circles with mints, do not haste any longer.
A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Don't touch that.
Behind an able man, there are always.
You will soon be more aware of your growing awareness.
You may attend a party where strange customs prevail.
Someone can read your mind.
Magic time is created when unconventional person comes.
You are going to have some new clothes.
Smart Student
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand.
Run
I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes.
However, I must share the following:
After putting a short program on the board, I told the students to type "R," "U," "N" and press return to see the program execute.
A hand went up in the back of the room, waving to get my attention, and the person attached to the hand said, "I did what you said and it didn't work." Knowing full-well that all of us make mistakes when typing at the computer, I suggested she retype "R," "U," "N" and press return. A few seconds later, the lady's hand goes up again. "It still doesn't work," she said.
So... I went back to see what the problem was ... only to find that instead of typing RUN, she had typed in the following: ARE YOU IN !
